There is no one magic answer to making a relationship stand the test of time nor is there a quick fix for anyone experiencing marital issues. Like anything worthwhile in life a marriage takes work, commitment and patience – when there is a pile of dirty pants next to the washing basket we are talking a lot of ‘bite your tongue’ patience!
Trust is often thought to be the foundation of a solid partnership and for good reason. Are you a text checker? A Facebooker spy? Does that colleague that sends snapchats to your partner drive you round the bend? Jealousy is a valid emotion and at times your ‘spidey sense’ may very well be right however more often than not the actions of a jealous partner can actually be the only real issue driving a wedge between you. You must have trust in your spouse and have faith in your vows.
Listen to your partner, ask about their day and keep communicating. In this day and age it is very easy to get caught up in the ‘rat race’. We work hard, life gets busy and sharing a conversation can become as difficult as sharing a meal. Keep talking, keep laughing and make the most of the time you do have for one another.
Make a date! Your dating days do not need to be over just because you are married. Getting dressed up and enjoying a meal out with your partner allows you to reconnect. Make an effort – buy that new dress you have had your eye on or put on your smartest shirt; show them that you care to look good for them. On a budget or have a lack of willing babysitters? No problem! Set the dining table, light some candles, get out the good plates, open a bottle of your favourite tipple and share some tasty food.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Little issues that fester have a habit of turning into a much bigger problem than ever intended and backing down then seems difficult. Emptied the dishwasher every morning for a week? Asked that your partner post a letter and found it in his car a few days later? As hard as it can be to do try to pause before hitting the roof. Save the arguments for a time that it really matters because if you yell too often your point will eventually get lost in the noise.
Life can throw some curveballs and surviving its ups and downs can be difficult. Ensuring that you support one another can make such a difference. Be there when your partner needs you, remember what is important to them and hold their hand when life gets tough. Rip your clothes off romance is all well and good but a marriage that lasts is one based on support, understanding and companionship. No one wants to be ‘friend-zoned’ when they are dating but to have a partner that is your lover and your best friend is something you must cherish.
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